Fatherhood: Lessons Learned from Lord of the Rings' Boromir

Written with four fingers pointed back at me...

The three little ones hide behind trees and under logs as orcs hunt for them,  intent on evils the little minds of those hidden cannot even conceive of.  These orcs know no pain, no mercy, no fear and will not stop until those Hobbits are found.  As the orcs come closer, two Hobbits spring from their hiding spot and run, purposely leading the evil away from their friend. But being so pure and innocent they cannot imagine the danger they just placed themselves in.  The seemingly unstoppable hoard of evil turns its attention on the two and begins to pursue with a new, twisted glee at the anticipated slaughter so near.

            The two Hobbits run as fast as they can, but their little legs are no match for the orcs that do not tire and that have been breed to hunt and kill.  With every step the evil closes and the horrible end is about to begin.

            Suddenly, a horn and a warrior's yell pierce the air: Boromir!  The warrior charges headlong into the fight, placing himself between the mass of evil orcs and the innocent Hobbits.  With strength and skill only forged from above, he single handedly holds off the hoards.  With every skillful stroke orcs fall around him; but more come to take their place.  This Man of Courage stands bravely in the face of overwhelming odds and fights, fights with everything he has been given.  Except, not everything.  He has forgotten his armor and his shield...

            You see, earlier, before the battle, Boromir snuck out of camp, intent on stealing a powerfully evil ring from one of the Hobbits, and to use it for "good"... only it's Boromir's definition of good - there is no doubt that whatever Boromir had convinced himself was "good" would have been the destruction of him and the world.  Not foreseeing any battle near, Boromir left his armor and shield in camp.  After his failed attempt at taking the ring by force, he comes face to face with his error, his sin.  Now, he tries to atone as the orcs come in waves towards him; he stands between torturous destruction and innocence. 

            A single orc, more horrifying than the rest, lifts a wicked bow and looses a barbed, poisoned arrow, not at the innocents behind the able warrior, but at the protector himself.  Without his large shield and thick armor, the arrow pierces his left lung, sucking the breath from him.  Boromir staggers, but catching a glimpse of the child-like Hobbits pleading with their eyes for help, Boromir continues to fight, what is now obviously his last fight.  Another arrow flies and strikes Boromir in the lower torso.  Boromir almost seems stunned that this could happen, but through strength and determination that is not his own, he finds a way to fight on.  Finally, the single orc takes more careful aim and looses the final arrow.  Boromir is hit in the heart.  He falls.  Evil takes the Hobbits from him.  The failed protector is left bleeding, gasping his last breaths in utter agony.

            Fathers, learn well the lessons from our comrade, Boromir.  The world, the flesh and the devil are after your family, your wife and your children.  Are you your wife's, son's and daughter's Protector?  Will you fight? 

            Your children are being hunted by evils never seen before in previous generations: a host of filth at the click of a button, or the tap of a finger, set to poison their minds forever from God's plan for sexuality.  A press of a button brings a wave of violence, to their eyes, never seen before in history which is shown, through brain scans, to make children more prone to acting out violence.   A game controller puts them in the person of a deranged psychopath who maims police officers then sets them on fire, shoots up schools, malls or churches, or beats to death a prostitute just to get their money back.  "Coincidentally" violent crime rates are up over 500% between 1950's and 2000's - since the mass introduction of T.V. in the home.  With a short 'chat room' conversation, a child predator can know everything they need to know about your child, including where to find them and the best time to secretly meet them. 

            Are you talking regularly with your children about true marriage, God, True Manhood, True Womanhood, and the 'Big Questions' they have?  If not, someone on the internet IS and the majority of what they will learn there is lies, anti-moral, anti-Christian, anti-parent and anti-God.

            Your children do not know the danger they can get themselves into, that is hunting them; that knows not the Fear of God, nor the pain of regret, nor mercy on their souls.  Do you know what is hunting them?  Are you preparing for the battle you cannot yet see? 

            If you knew for certain that one year from today, at midnight, a hardened murdering rapist was going to break into your home and attack your wife and children, how would you be preparing today?  Tomorrow?  In the weeks and months ahead?  Would you buy a gun?  Body Armor?  Would you work out daily?  Would you dare miss a day working out or practice drills?  Truly, Truly I tell you, your sons, your daughters, and your wife's souls are being attacked.... NOW!  They are under attack NOW!

            Or are you sneaking out of your camp after some evil you have justified to yourself as good?   Evil that is precious to you?  "I don't do this THAT often." "I deserve this." "I've worked hard this week, this is 'me' time."  " There's nothing wrong with it; Guys are just naturally more visually based." "I've heard 'experts' say that a few drinks are actually good for you." "A little more overtime and I can afford that boat, or get that promotion." "Just one more hour; if I get this level / quest done then I'll go to bed." "What do they know?  They aren't under the pressure I am."

            "[The evil Ring] is a gift, I say; a gift... it is mad not to use it..." as the possessed Boromir says after he snuck out of camp.

            But you don't see a battle.  Really, why all the fuss.  "My wife and kids are safe."  Oh really?  Experts now say if your child has a smart phone with access to the internet, your kids are under attack.  If they have a T.V. in their room and can watch whatever network (let alone cable) T.V. they want whenever they want, your children are under attack.  Heaven help them if they have a computer in their room, whether or not it has "parental restrictions" - those take about 30 seconds of research to bypass - your children are under serious attack.  Studies also indicate that these orcs are breed to hunt down your children and kill their souls; they do not tire and they do not rest.

            Let me ask you fathers: WHERE ARE THE COURAGIOUS MEN OF GOD!  Will you charge headlong into this fight?  Will you place yourself directly between this army of Satan's demons and your sons and daughters; even if your kids don't think you're cool, don't 'like' you or their friends' parents don't hold the standards you do; even if it means death... death to yourself, death to your pleasure seeking ways, death to saying "MY WILL BE DONE!"?  The odds are overwhelming.  The hoards are all around you. 

WILL YOU STILL CHARGE OR ARE YOU A SPIRITUAL COWARD?

            Or worse... are you willingly letting the hoards at your children?  Did your children learn that getting drunk is ok because daddy does it?  Did your children see your computer search history and figure, if Dad's doing it, it must be ok?  Did your children learn that anger, insults, yelling, temper tantrums or worse, violence, is the way to handle a disagreement because they've seen how you treat other people, or (Heaven Forbid) your greatest ally in This Fight: your wife and their mother?  Are your wife and children even able to distinguish you from the orcs?

            But if you still have a sense of courage, are you even prepared to fight?   In 'Boot Camp' the soldier is strengthened through serous trials, almost endless repetitions of strength drills, target practice, mock fights, after action reviews, correcting bad practices and reinforcing the good ones.  In the military the soldier drills familiarity with his weapons.  A soldier takes apart his rifle and puts it back together numerous times, sometimes blindfolded.  Have you done any Spiritual Strength drills?  When was the last time you had a Spiritual after action report in the Confessional?   How familiar are you with the weapons of Spiritual Combat? Do you even know what your weapons are?

            Your weapons are: Prayer, Fasting, the Sacraments and Sacred Scripture.  They are Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Endurance in Suffering, Humility, Faith, Modesty, Continence and Chastity. 

Do you Love your children?  Do you tell them multiple times a day?  Do you love your wife?  Do you sacrifice "me time" to talk to your wife and be with your children?

Do you show the Joy of Christ to all you meet?  No that doesn't mean being a clown or always smiling.  It does mean that you're satisfied with the life God has given you, you recognize the immense blessings you have (if you're reading this, you own a computer; if you own a computer and have internet you're in the top 1% richest people in the world.)

Are you at Peace in your own soul?  Are there wounds you still need to expose and heal?  How was your relationship to your own father and mother?  Are you constantly trying to "get" more "stuff?"   Cause you can never have enough of the stuff you don't need.

Is your default way of dealing with other people Kind, Good, and Gentle?  Are you a Gentle Man?

Do you show Humility?  Do you always have to be right even when you're not sure you are or when you know you're not?  Do you humble yourself by getting down to the level of your sons and daughters to play with them...  there's a practice in patience and endurance in suffering there too.

Are you Faithful: to your wife?  No I don't mean in the big ways... I mean in ALL ways.  Do you speak good of her at work?  Are you faithful to God and your family, even when you think God isn't watching?

Learn especially what Modesty, Continence and Chastity mean; Live them; teach them to your children that they may not inherit the sins of their father.

            Pray, Pray, Pray.  On your knees, daily, for your family, for all families, for your marriage, for all marriages, for the strength to conform yourself to God's Will (and not your own will) for the strength to fight The Fight of all fights.  Prayers from the heart, rote prayers, silent time in God's presence (especially in Eucharistic Adoration)... all are powerful weapons.  The Rosary is in the prime place (no it's not just for old women).  Satan hates the numerous reminders of God becoming Man, through the Blessed Mother.  The linked beads are like a belt of machine gun ammo.  Make sure to "take it apart" and "put it back together" - study the prayers:  What are we saying?  What are we asking?  What is the purpose?  What are the promises associated?

            Fasting in combination with prayer is like increasing the caliber of a gun: going from a .38 special to a .45 ACP; or from a .22 LR to .308 Winchester.  Also remember that a .50 BMG is possible if you remember what BMG stands for: adding the intersession of the Blessed Mother of God!  Fasting does not have to be on bread and water, though it can be.  Fasting can be as little as giving up that 5th beer or that second slice of pie - ok, ok, giving up half of the second  slice of pie - or salt at a meal.  Do what you can to add that additional power to your prayers.

            Sacraments are the strength, endurance, breath of life and willpower to fight The Fight.  Here Penance and the Eucharist are key.  Penance is the time to perform the after action report: look at your life, compare it with what God wants from you - a good examination of conscience is very useful - then report it to your Supreme Commander; but do not skip up the Chain of Command; take it to a priest, the one appointed to receive these types of reports.  You will be lovingly corrected, but forgiven, and bolstered in the ways you need to go.  The Eucharist brings that otherworldly power to the fight.  You cannot fight This Fight alone; only Christ can win it.  If we are what we eat, then consume our Lord as the Eucharist as often as you can - daily whenever able, weekly is a bare minimum.  Become what you eat to gain the strength and endurance from Heaven for The Fight.

            The Word of God is the Sword of the Spirit.  Read Scripture daily.  Start with the Gospels and read them over and over again for a year; then move on to other parts of Scripture.  Ten minutes a day first thing when you wake up.  Don't save it until last; put First things first.  Learn who Christ is.  Learn to emulate what He did.  Learn from His teachings.  Learn to mirror Him to your family and the world.

             Learn well the lessons of Boromir: never forget your armor or shield.  What is our armor and shield?  St. Paul writing to the Ephesians makes it clear: 

"Draw your strength from the Lord and His mighty power.  Put on the armor of God so that you may be able to stand firm against the tactics of the devil.  For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens.  Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground.  So stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate, and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace.  In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield, to quench all [the] flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

            Do you have your loins girded in God's truth?  Or do you think that truth is relative: what's good for you is not necessarily what's good for me?  Or just as bad, are your loins girded in the lies of pornography, lust, contraception and adultery?  There is such a thing as objective moral truth.  If you're going against that, your living a lie.

            Is your heart guarded by a breast plate of righteousness - i.e. right doing?  Do you do the right thing, even when no one is looking?  Or do you sneak extra breaks at work, cut corners, lie or steal? 

            Are your feet ready to walk in the Gospel of Peace?  Do you know the Gospel well enough to walk in it as well as lead your families?  Is there Peace in your home because of you or despite you or is there no Peace in your home?  Know Jesus, know Peace; No Jesus, no Peace - and as Mother Theresa said: No Mary, No Jesus; Know Mary, Know Jesus.  You want to know Jesus better?  Ask his Mama: the spouse of the Holy Spirit.

            Do you have Faith to shield you in tough times?  Or are you completely exposed when the arrows of doubt, despair and anxiety come?  Can you share your Faith?  Shield others from their arrows by sharing your Faith with them?  The Spartans had an oath; the oath of the shield.  I find it very appropriate here: 

This is my shield,
I bear it before me in battle,
But it is not mine alone.
It protects my brother on my left.
It protects my city.
I will never let my brother out of it's shadow
Nor my city out of it's shelter.
I will die
With my shield before me
Facing the enemy

            Your Family and your community are your city.  Your fellow Brother-in-Christ is your Brother on your left.  How is your Faith shielding them and you?

            Is your mind protected with the confidence that you are doing what needs to be done to get to heaven?  Brother are you a on the path to be a Saint?  If you paused at all to answer that question then you seriously need a work out.  "Work out your salvation with fear and trembling."  Study salvation.  What must you do to be a Saint?  Then rest in the confidence of your salvation, with the knowledge that you can mess up and lose it if you allow the enemy to invade your soul.

            Is your sword, the Bible, sharp in your mind, oiled, familiar to you, an extension of your arm?  Are you skilled with it?  Or is it rusting on a shelf somewhere where you don't even know where it is?  Do you even own a Sword?

            Fathers, listen up: Boromir fought the good fight, even though he handicapped himself.  As he lay in the dirt his king found him wounded and dying.  Jesus always sees our wounded-ness; He already sees the arrows and barbs in our life: Sin.  In agony and broken breaths Boromir confesses his sins before his king: "I tried to take the ring... I failed you.  Forgive me!"  His king places Boromir's sword back in his hand and says, "You have fought bravely. You have kept your honor... Be at peace."  So too does our King respond when we confess before him.  He re-arms us, forgives us and tells us "Peace be with you."  Then the king tells Boromir that by all the power the king has, he will restore Boromir's homeland: "... I swear to you I will not let the White City fall, nor our people fail."   Boromir tells the king, "I would have followed you anywhere, my brother, my captain, my king."

            Even if we fathers have failed to protect our children, it is not too late.  Repent!  Pray!  Fight for them NOW!  Our King has already said to us "Yet even now... return to me with all your heart and with fasting, weeping and mourning; and rend your heart and not your garments.  Now return to the Lord your God... I will return to you what the locusts and the cankerworm have eaten..." (Joel 2:12-13a; 25a).  Will you follow Him anywhere He leads even if it's through Hell?  Is He your Brother, your Captain, your King?

            A movie father once asked the same thing I do here: Where are you Men of Courage?  Satan prowls the world like a roaring lion looking to devour your family.  By your Baptism you have become a member of the Church; by your Confirmation you are the Church Militant.  You swore an oath to Defend your Mother, the Church, and by the nature of Marriage, you swore to be priest and protector of your domestic church: your Family.  Are you a Man of Your Word?

            When you die, will your Captain and King say, "Well fought good and faithful soldier"?  Will He place your sword back in your hand, "You have kept your honor.  Now come rest, be at Peace forever..." Where are you Godly Men of Courage? 

Will you march on Hell for His Heavenly Cause? 

Though It Cost You Your Life: Will You Fight or Are You a Coward?

The Blue Crucifix